Candy Tasting and Reviewing Fun

So the wife and I were up in New York this weekend to see our friend John performing in in La Forza Del Destino, the Moscow Cat Theater, and some other fun activities including a visit to Dylan’s Candy Bar.

A fun and playful 2-story candy store, Dylan’s was too crowded for my taste but included a collection of obscure and old-skool candies that made it worth the trip. We wound up spending about $30 on candy bars at ~$1.50 a pop. Below we shall review them as we eat them – look for regular updates.

#1: Nut Goodie
A milk chocolate medallion with peanuts on top and Musketeer-like nougat underneath. The nougat had a vague hint of maple that we only were able to put our finger on later. Tasty though the chocolate was fairly pedestrian. It crumbled when you ate it. 240 calories
Evaluation: Yummy. Interesting combination.

#2: Chick-O-Stick
Like the inside of a Butterfinger with no chocolate. Surprising and fabulous, it was crunchy, a little messy but very tasty. The consistency of the crackly stick was perfect and the touch of coconut was nice.
Evaluation: Excellent. May seek these out online.

#3: Rainbow Coconut
Moist, chewy, block o’coconut that tasted lightly seasoned. Coconut lovers need only apply – solid coconut. 230 calories
Evaluation: Solid Coconut. Good.

#4: Zots
Hard fruit-flavored candy lozenge with sweet exterior hides intensely sour powder interior that “fizzes”. Best when sucked until the powder makes its way out as chewing them is either listless or almost unbearably sour. Most of the 8 we got were broken inside their wrappers and dumping the contents into one’s mouth is zotastic to the order of Sourpatch x 8.
Evaluation: Very, very sour but good – wish not so many were broken.

#5: Idaho Spud
By far one of the worst candies I’ve had in years. We’re not sure if it’s supposed to taste like soft, recently dead flesh enrobed in chocolate coconut scabs, but it did to us. Well, actually, the coating of chocolate and coconut was tolerable but the interior was fleshy and disturbing. 160 calories
Evaluation: I had a moment where I thought I might be sick.

#6: Abba-Zaba
Chewy white vanilla taffy (kind of like an Airhead) but with an unexpected peanut butter paste within. Truly unusual and sublime. Breaks easily into chunks and was the best so far. 250 calories
Evaluation: Made me question the boundaries between candies and reevaluate my assumptions. A zen experience.

#7: Razzles
These “First it’s candy … then it’s Gum!” discs with nubbies on one side actually taste much better than I recall – they have a pleasant cotton-candy like flavor as they move from chalky power to chewing gum – in your mouth! Bah to your wi-fi networks and IPTV – this is candy that turns into gum in your mouth!
Evaluation: Even when the novelty wears off it’s still got that cotton-candy like flavor. The orange ones taste like orange drink, which isn’t a bad thing.

#8 Big Hunk
Another chewy one from the folks that make Abba-Zaba, this one has honey-flavored chewy nougat specked with whole peanuts. Sweet and taffy-like, the peanut bits bring something special to this jaw-exerciser that would appeal to Bit-O-Honey aficianados. 230 calories
Evaluation: Very good and plenty of tasty chewing for the buck. Would buy again. Plus they have this.

#9 Lindt Swiss Classic Milk Chocolate with whole Hazelnuts
I didn’t buy this at Dylan’s nor is it retro – I got it at the Met bar between acts for just $5 and it found its way into our bag of nummies. Velvety milk chocolate of the finest quality with many whole hanzelnuts throughout. Flavorful and of superlative texture enough to share with a friend while watching Verdi opera. ~600 calories
Evaluation: A lot of Europeans subsist on good chocolate and this is why. The snack that eats like a classy meal.

#10 Sky Bar
From Necco, the folks that make the repulsively chalky yet mystifyingly popular Necco Wafers, comes this pleasing 4-in-1 treat. It’s one milk chocolate bar comprised of 4 segments, each filled with vanilla, caramel, chocolate fudge, and peanut butter. The vanilla is gooey and marshmallow-fluff like while the peanut butter filling is more like caramel with peanut butter flavoring. 190 calories
Evaluation: Very enjoyable and a great way to get several similar-but-different treats in one package.

#11 Violet Crumble
The label’s proclimation that “It’s the way it shatters that matters” intrigued me into buying “Australia’s crisp golden honeycomb” but I couldn’t be coerced into eating more than half of it. A disconcerting styrofoam-like center enrobed in milk chocolate, the overwhelmingly synthetic texture and taste of this bar left my teeth hurting like I had been chewing tinfoil. 170 calories
Evaluation: Must be an acquired taste after drinking many Fourexes. Avoid.

#12 Salted Nut Roll
The name of this one tells almost the whole story – it’s a roll of caramel and salted peanuts with a nougat center. The salty/sweet combination is very pleasing and just classic but the texture of both the caramel and nougat aren’t up to par in my opinion. 240 calories
Evaluation: Good basic nut treat but this one seems like it could (and should) be so much better.

#13 U-NO
The label declares “rich creamy chocolate” but the reality didn’t meet my expectation. Filling very similar to truffle chocolates you might find in an assortment, with chopped almonds, a nice subtle touch. Yet, for me, a whole bar of truffle is a trifle too much truffle. 250 calories
Evaluation: Not to my taste but those who are truffle &/or hardcore chocolate fans might enjoy this one.

#14 Mallo Cup
Similar to the famed Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup in shape, the Mallo Cup touts its “whipped cream center” on its label but hides a delectable surprise – the milk chocolate of the cup contains fine bits of coconut! Admittedly, much of the sticky marshmallow goo had made its way out and onto the “play money” packing card but this one surprised both my companion and I. 200 calories
Evaluation: Graceful coconut, vanilla goo – chocolate, I wrote a haiku.

#15 Chunky
This 1.4 oz. block “milk chocolate with peanuts and raisins” wouldn’t seem to merit the glee I had when I saw it on the shelf. And oh, if it were merely milk chocolate, peanuts and raisins, it would be like so many other treats, but it isn’t. There is a mysterious and delicious flavor to the milk chocolate – Lee says it’s rum flavoring and I agree. This flavor escalates this quadrasected chocolate chunk to new heights of chewing satisfaction. 190 calories
Evaluation: Big chink o’tasty chocolate with raisins and peanuts that, while not exactly a zen experience, is delicious and satisfying.