Blog
-
Top Phive Jimmy Buffett Tailgate Setups
There is nothing quite like a Jimmy Buffett tailgate — sun, phun, booze, island attire, and most importantly, an abundance of pure joy. You don’t see fights, bitterness or anything you might find in any other pre-concert parking lot. People are just happy to be there and share in the feeling. So, in honor of the upcoming Jimmy Buffett concert at Citizens Bank Park in Philadelphia this Saturday, I’m listing my Top Phive Phavorite Buffett Tailgate setups. (One will certainly notice that 3 of 5 came from Great Woods in Boston, the pinnacle of JB parties — a labor day institution for years that will be missed.)
I look for three important things when I think of a great tailgate setup:
- It has to be creative – erected bars are fun and cool but a lot of people have them so its hard to differentiate.
- It has to bring people to your space. Jimmy parties are about the parrothead community, and the great ones bring strangers together like they’ve known each other for years.
- It has to promote debauchery. Obviously.
On to the list… (more…)
-
Ranch Dressing
I used to love ranch dressing — at times, it was my favorite bottled dressing. There is this pizza place in Richmond, VA called Chanello’s that serves ranch with their pizza and breadsticks, and, although this is hardly beneficial for the arteries, when I was in college it friggin’ rocked.
About 5 years ago, I went out to a pizza spot for lunch with a few people from this contract job I was working. While I was getting myself some napkins and silverware, a girl spilled a cup of ranch dressing down my pants leg. Devastation! I didn’t really know the people I was with and the girl was very apologetic, so I had no choice but to take the incident in stride. I did everything I could to wipe off the dressing and gritted through lunch.
Unfortunately, I was not close to home and I had no way to change, so I was stuck with RanchPants for the rest of the day. It was brutal — I reeked of ranch. Some people talk of bad vodka or tequila experiences… me, I had a bad ranch experience. Ever since that day, I haven’t been able to stomach it at all. I can’t stand the ranch!
-
The Joy of Schwag
- I worked my college summers as a Marlboro Gear Van Representative. My job was to give people schwag after they bought cigarettes and to survey them in the process. What a motherlode of schwag it was, my friends. I still have towels, denim shirts, keychains, umbrellas, sunglass pouches, the works. When I was an exchange student in England I actually sold several “rare” Marlboro Zippos that I had acquired while working “the Van.” The English were way behind on schwag.
- At Christmas, our family likes to gift each other schwag. I have some awesome golf shirts embroidered with various mutual fund logos and I wear them proudly. I do not believe that my brother owns a single golf ball that is not emblazoned with some 3rd party logo.
- I used to have schwag giveways at my summer parties. I’d collect as much schwag as I could throughout the year than have an absurd drawing toward the end of the party and give it all away. One year I gave a 7′ (2m) inflatable red-white-and-blue Budweiser rocket (that looked a lot like a penis) to this crazy geek kid that was a busboy where I worked. He was thrilled and every time I saw him he mentioned that gigantic rocket. That is the power of schwag.
- I worked for Apple one summer as an in-store representative at Circuit City. The job sucked pretty bad but they had these awesome pens and I also got a “Think Different” watch that ran backwards.
- Getting married generates a lot of schwag. Various businesses such as caterers, DJ’s and florists are eager to press their schwag firmly into the palm of your hand. Accept this token. Unfortunately, the token is too often a spoon with a Hershey’s Kiss tied to it with ribbon or a miniature bubble-blowing toy. But, one of the finest wedding schwags is the food. Taste away, my friend, taste away.
- After I graduated from “the Van” and entered the big time as a Territory Sales Manager for Phillip Morris, my entire concept of schwag was redefined forever. PM meetings were virtual schwagfests – I recall once they actually set up a faux casino in the hotel for everyone to play with tickets to win schwag, then, they gave away a lot more schwag. After the casino prizes came a leather jacket, hikers (in my size), oxford shirts, umbrellas and duffle bags for the guys and purses for the girls. I still have the leather jacket – it has a bright-blue satin lining with “You’ve Got Merit!” embossed in the fabric. It always makes me feel better when I read that lining; both because of the affirmation and because it’s schwag.
Tell the world about your Joy of Schwag. Shout it from the rooftops … or the comments area.
-
My journey to MP3 player bliss (or, Wisdom buys and reviews a gadget)
Back around January I decided to embark upon listening to the unabridged Atlas Shrugged audiobook. Problem was, I had it in MP3 format and burning it to audio disc would require at least 40 CDR’s plus the time and hassle involved in burning. As a result, I decided it was time to get me an MP3 player.
Determined to spend less than $100, I shopped around for a long time, getting a feel for price ranges, flash vs. hard-drive players, feature sets, disposable vs. rechargeable batteries, and DRM vs. non-DRM. (more…)
-
Atlas Shrugged
About 8 years ago I started reading the book Atlas Shrugged, by Ayn Rand. I very much enjoyed it until page 698 when I placed the bookmark in it for the last time and was distracted by some other book. Thereafter, the thick, almost-1100pg tome with the ethereal sketch portrait of Ayn Rand sat on my shelf, mocking me. (more…)
-
Travel Tips
After my recent trip to Montréal, I thought I’d share a few of my travel tips and my basis for them:
- When travelling abroad, make 2, 2-sided copies of your Birth Certificate and Passport. Keep a copy on your person and one in your luggage. When I somehow misplaced my passport in a flight between England and Portugal in 1994, I had to wait for a relative (my mother, disgruntled as hell for being awakened at the crack of dawn) to fax copies of identity documents to the US Embassy for verification to gain entry into the country. That made for a fun 4 hours of airport-backroom waiting with customs agents. The embassy official I met later that week in Lisbon keyed me in to this tip and I’ve seen it verified numerous other places since. Having the documents handy will expedite the process should you lose or have your documents ripped off. In case you’re wondering, my passport turned up in a trash can in the airport a few days later, even though we carefully searched the plane. I still have no idea how it got there or how someone found it. (more…)